Counselling for boys, young men and adult men

Different stages of life. Different pressures. Somewhere to work things through.

Boys and men are not all the same, and neither are the challenges they face. Your age, relationships, upbringing, culture and life experiences all shape how you experience difficulties and what kind of support may help.

I offer counselling for males aged 16 and over, including:

Teenage boys aged 16 and over

You may be struggling with school or college, friendships, bullying, confidence, family expectations or the pressure to fit in. Perhaps you find it difficult to explain how you feel, or the people around you do not seem to understand what you are going through.

Young men and students

The transition into adulthood can bring questions about identity, relationships, education, work and the future. You may feel under pressure to succeed, uncertain about your direction or worried that everyone else seems to have things worked out.

Adult men

You may be balancing work, relationships, parenting, financial responsibilities or caring for others while trying to manage your own difficulties. Perhaps you have become used to dealing with problems privately, but things are beginning to feel harder to carry alone.

Men navigating major life changes

Separation, bereavement, becoming a father, changes in employment, loneliness, questions about identity or adjusting to a new stage of life can leave you feeling unsettled. Counselling offers space to understand what these experiences mean to you and consider what comes next.

Whatever your stage of life, you deserve to be taken seriously and supported as an individual.

What brings boys and men to counselling?

Sometimes there is a clear reason for seeking help. At other times, difficulties build gradually until everyday life begins to feel more challenging.

You might recognise some of these experiences:

• Anxiety and stress: constant worry, panic, overthinking, pressure to perform or difficulty switching off.

• Low mood and depression: feeling down, empty, disconnected, unmotivated or unlike yourself.

• Anger and frustration: losing your temper, becoming irritable, getting into arguments or struggling to understand your reactions.

• Confidence and self-esteem: feeling inadequate, comparing yourself with others or worrying about how you are perceived.

• Relationships and intimacy: difficulties with partners, family members or friends, communication problems, separation or infidelity.

• Work and education: exam pressure, career uncertainty, workplace stress, burnout or feeling stuck.

• Family and parenting: fatherhood, co-parenting, family conflict, changing responsibilities or difficulties at home.

• Grief and loss: bereavement, relationship breakdown or other experiences that have changed your life.

• Loneliness and isolation: finding it difficult to connect with others or feeling that nobody really knows how you are doing.

• Identity and belonging: questions about masculinity, sexuality, cultural identity, expectations or where you fit in.

• Difficult past experiences: experiences that continue to affect your feelings, relationships or sense of safety.

• Unhelpful coping patterns: behaviours involving alcohol or other substances, gambling, pornography, gaming or other habits that are becoming difficult to manage.

These are examples, not a checklist. You do not have to identify with a particular problem or have everything neatly labelled before you contact me.

If something is affecting your wellbeing, relationships or everyday life, we can explore whether counselling may help.

Understanding the pressures boys and men can face

Many boys and men grow up with messages about being strong, independent, successful and able to cope. They may feel expected to protect others, solve problems, provide for their families or keep difficult emotions under control.

These expectations can be meaningful to some people, but they can also make it harder to acknowledge when life becomes difficult.

Perhaps you have learned to keep your worries to yourself, distract yourself by staying busy, withdraw from others or try to solve everything alone. You may worry that talking about your feelings will make you appear weak, or that other people will not understand.

Sometimes distress is expressed through anger, irritability, silence, avoidance or feeling emotionally numb rather than through openly talking about sadness or fear. These responses can have many causes, and each person’s experience deserves to be understood on its own terms.

Counselling is not about telling you how to be a man or suggesting that there is something wrong with you because you are struggling.

It is an opportunity to look honestly at what is happening, understand what may be contributing to it and find ways of responding that work better for you.

Seeking support is not a failure to cope. It is a way of taking your own wellbeing seriously.

My approach: counselling that starts with you

I work integratively, using person-centred counselling as a foundation and drawing on other therapeutic approaches where appropriate. These include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), psychodynamic perspectives, mindfulness, trauma-informed practice and creative methods.

This means I adapt our work to your circumstances, preferences and goals rather than expecting you to fit a particular model of counselling.

I place great importance on the relationship between counsellor and client. I want you to feel listened to, respected and able to speak honestly without worrying that I will judge you or tell you what you should be doing with your life.

Depending on what brings you to counselling, we might explore your thoughts and feelings, consider how earlier experiences influence the present, recognise patterns in your behaviour or develop practical ways of managing stress and difficult emotions.

I will listen carefully, ask questions when useful and offer reflections that may help you see things differently. You can tell me if something does not feel helpful, and we can discuss how to adjust our work.

You remain the expert on your own life. My role is to work alongside you as you develop greater understanding, confidence and choice.

What if you find talking difficult?

You do not have to arrive knowing what to say.

Some people find it easy to talk about themselves. Others need time to feel comfortable or find that their thoughts and feelings are difficult to put into words.

We can begin with everyday concerns, a particular situation or something you would like to change. Where appropriate, we can also explore creative activities, practical exercises, mindfulness or other ways of working.

I have an interest in creative approaches, including African drumming and rhythm-based activities. Where suitable and agreed, creative methods can provide another way of exploring expression, connection and emotional awareness.

Walk-and-talk counselling may also be an option where appropriate and available.

These approaches are not compulsory, and not every method is suitable for every client. We can discuss what feels comfortable and useful for you.

The important thing is that counselling becomes a space in which you can gradually work through what matters, in a way that respects your needs and pace.

Counselling across cultures and backgrounds

You deserve to feel understood without having to explain everything about your world first.

Our experiences are shaped by our families, communities, culture, upbringing, beliefs and relationships. These influences can affect how we understand ourselves, express emotions and seek support.

You might feel caught between different cultural expectations, struggle with questions of identity or belonging, or experience pressure to live up to your family’s hopes. You may find it difficult to talk about personal problems because of concerns about privacy, stigma or how others might react.

For some people, experiences of racism, discrimination, migration or living between cultures can add further challenges.

My own experience of living across different cultural settings and working with people from varied backgrounds has given me an appreciation of the importance of listening without making assumptions.

I welcome men and boys from all backgrounds, including Black, African, mixed-heritage and other culturally diverse communities.

You do not need to share my background to work with me, and I will not assume that your cultural identity defines your experiences. I want to understand what matters to you, how you see the world and what you would like to explore.

I also speak Luganda and Lusoga, as well as English. If language is important to your experience, we can discuss whether using one of these languages might be helpful for our work.

My aim is to offer a respectful space where you can explore your experiences and identity without feeling that you must fit someone else’s expectations.

A little about me

I’m Denis Victor, an integrative counsellor with a BA in Integrative Counselling from the University of Worcester and Registered Membership of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP).

Alongside my counselling experience, I spent approximately fifteen years working in youth-support roles before training as a counsellor. My professional background also includes school and educational settings, learning support and work with young people facing a range of personal and emotional challenges.

This experience has helped me appreciate that what people show on the outside does not always tell the whole story of what they are experiencing.

A young person who appears withdrawn, angry or unmotivated may be dealing with something they cannot yet explain. An adult who seems to manage everything competently may be carrying considerable pressure privately.

I believe people benefit from being listened to with patience, empathy and respect rather than being judged by their behaviour or circumstances alone.

My approach is warm, calm and down to earth. I aim to make counselling feel approachable and collaborative, without unnecessary jargon or the expectation that you should already understand everything about yourself.

I know that choosing a counsellor is a personal decision. Qualifications and experience matter, but so does feeling comfortable with the person you will be speaking to.

That is why I offer a free initial consultation, giving us both an opportunity to consider whether working together feels right.

What can counselling help you work towards?

Counselling is not about changing who you are or promising a life without difficulties. It is about understanding yourself more clearly and developing ways of responding to life that feel healthier and more manageable.

Depending on your needs and what we explore together, counselling may help you to:

• Understand your emotions and what may be contributing to them.

• Manage anxiety, stress, anger and emotional overwhelm.

• Develop greater confidence and a more balanced view of yourself.

• Recognise unhelpful thought patterns and behaviour.

• Communicate more openly and improve your relationships.

• Explore the effects of past experiences and significant life changes.

• Develop practical coping strategies for everyday challenges.

• Understand cultural expectations, identity and belonging.

• Make decisions with greater clarity and confidence.

• Reconnect with your values and what matters to you.

Everyone’s experience of counselling is different. We will work towards goals that are meaningful to you and review how things are going as we progress.

For parents: finding counselling support for your son

If you are a parent or carer worried about your son, you may be looking for someone who can understand him, help him feel comfortable and support him without making him feel that he is the problem.

Perhaps he has become withdrawn, seems unusually angry, is struggling with school or relationships, or finds it difficult to talk about what is happening. You may have tried to help, only to find that your conversations become arguments or he insists that everything is fine.

It can be difficult to know how to help when someone you care about is struggling but does not want to talk.

My experience in counselling, youth work and educational settings has taught me the importance of building trust and trying to understand a young person’s perspective.

I will not assume that your son is ready to talk immediately or that his difficulties can be understood from his behaviour alone. My aim is to create an environment in which he can gradually feel more comfortable exploring what is happening.

We can discuss your concerns, his needs and the most appropriate way to begin. Where suitable and agreed, an initial conversation may include you before giving your son an opportunity to speak with me privately.

I also recognise that parents need guidance and reassurance. Where appropriate, we can discuss ways you might support your son while respecting his privacy and the therapeutic relationship.

For clients aged 16 and 17, consent, confidentiality, safeguarding and parental involvement need to be considered carefully. I explain the arrangements and limits of confidentiality clearly rather than promising absolute secrecy.

Counselling cannot guarantee a particular outcome, and a young person’s willingness to engage matters. However, a thoughtful introduction and an approach that takes his perspective seriously can help make the experience more approachable.

If you are unsure whether counselling is suitable for your son, you are welcome to contact me to discuss your concerns.

Face-to-face and online counselling

I offer face-to-face counselling in Cheltenham and, subject to availability, the surrounding Cotswolds and Gloucestershire area. Online counselling is available to suitable clients across the UK.

Face-to-face counselling

Meeting in person may suit you if you prefer having a dedicated space away from everyday distractions. Please contact me to confirm the current venue and available appointments.

Online counselling

Online sessions can make counselling more accessible if you live further away, have work or study commitments, or prefer to meet from a private space at home.

Sessions can take place wherever you are in England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland, subject to suitability and appropriate arrangements.

For online counselling, you will need a reasonably private space, a reliable internet connection and a device that allows us to communicate comfortably. We can discuss the most suitable format when you enquire.

Online and face-to-face counselling both offer opportunities to work through personal difficulties. We can consider which is likely to suit your needs and circumstances.

What to expect when you start counselling

1. A free 25-minute online consultation

Your initial consultation is an opportunity to meet me online, ask questions and talk briefly about what has brought you to counselling.

We can discuss what you hope to gain, any concerns you have and whether my approach feels suitable for you.

There is no obligation to continue.

2. Your first counselling session

If you decide to proceed, your first full session lasts 50 minutes.

We can explore your circumstances in more depth, including relevant experiences, relationships, work, education or family life. You do not need to cover everything in one meeting.

Together, we can begin identifying what you would like to work on and how counselling might help.

3. Working together at your pace

Subsequent sessions provide space to explore your concerns, develop understanding and consider different ways forward.

You do not have to disclose everything immediately. We can work at a pace that feels manageable while keeping sight of what you would like to achieve.

4. Reviewing your progress

We can periodically reflect on what is helping and whether your needs or goals have changed.

Counselling is a collaborative process. Your feedback matters, and we can discuss any adjustments that may make our work more useful.

Counselling fees

I believe it is important to be clear about fees before you make a decision.

• Free initial consultation: 25 minutes, online.

• Individual counselling: £50 per 50-minute session.

• Longer sessions: Available by agreement, with the fee calculated proportionately.

Before we begin, I will explain the booking, payment and cancellation arrangements so that you know what to expect.

There is no obligation to commit to a set number of sessions following your initial consultation.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to be in crisis to see a counsellor?

No. You can seek counselling when something is troubling you, when you feel stuck or when you want to understand yourself better. You do not have to wait until things become unbearable.

What if I find it difficult to talk about my feelings?

We can take time to get comfortable. You do not need to know what to say beforehand, and we can explore different ways of working if talking feels difficult.

Is counselling confidential?

Counselling is a private space, and confidentiality is central to the work. However, it has limits, particularly where there are serious concerns about safety or safeguarding. I explain these limits before counselling begins.

Will you tell my parents what I say?

For clients aged 16 and 17, confidentiality and parental involvement are discussed in an age-appropriate way, taking account of consent, competence, safeguarding and the circumstances involved. I aim to respect your privacy while meeting my professional responsibilities.

Can I have counselling online if I live outside Gloucestershire?

Yes. Online counselling is available to suitable clients across the UK, subject to an initial discussion about your needs and the practical arrangements.

How many sessions will I need?

This depends on what you are experiencing and what you hope to achieve. We can review your needs and progress together rather than assuming that everyone requires the same number of sessions.

What if I am unsure whether counselling is right for me?

That is one reason I offer a free initial consultation. It gives us an opportunity to discuss your questions and consider whether working together feels appropriate.

You don’t have to keep everything to yourself

Whether you’re a young man trying to find your direction, an adult man dealing with pressures you rarely discuss, or someone who simply wants to understand himself better, you deserve a space where you can be heard without judgement.

And if you are a parent concerned about your son, you do not need to have all the answers before asking about support.

I’m Denis, and through Acorn Therapy I offer a calm, respectful and collaborative space to explore what is happening and work towards a way forward that feels right for you.

You don’t have to know exactly what to say. We can start with a conversation.

Arrange your free 25-minute online consultation.

Acorn Therapy
Counselling for boys aged 16 and over, young men and adult men
Cheltenham and the Cotswolds | Online across the UK

Website: acorntherapy.co.uk
Email: [email protected]